No, No, No! Do You Want Some Cheetos? And I Do! 😂

Hey, Blog Friends and Family!

Have you ever experienced an emotional encounter that suddenly turned left—for seemingly no reason?

One question becomes a tense conversation.

The tense conversation becomes a debate.

Everybody has a point to make.

And then, out of nowhere, somebody asks:

“Do you want some Cheetos?”

Cheetos?!?! 🤣🤣🤣

Wait a minute. We were just having a whole discussion over here, and now we’re passing around Cheetos?

And guess what?

I DO! 😂

Looking back, I realized something: that simple offer of Cheetos helped de-escalate the moment.

Who knew a little cheesy crunch could interrupt a whole lot of tension? 😂

But underneath the humor was a lesson that made me think:

How do we treat people when emotions are high?

And even more importantly:

What does God say about our response?

Sometimes God Says, “Redo!”

Let’s talk about kindness—using kind words, controlling our tone, and learning how to respond differently.

I know it can be easy to say, “Well, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Or:

“That’s just how I talk.”

“That’s just how I am.”

“I said what I said!”

But what happens when something seems right in our eyes, yet God says:

“Not so. Redo!”

Ohhhh! 😳

Redo the tone.

Redo the approach.

Redo the attitude.

Redo the response.

Because sometimes the problem isn’t necessarily what we said.

It’s how we said it.

Proverbs 14:12 reminds us:

“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” — Proverbs 14:12 (KJV)

Something can feel completely justified to us and still need correction.

And Jesus takes it even further when He teaches us to examine ourselves before becoming consumed with somebody else’s faults. In Matthew 7:3–5, He speaks about noticing the mote in our brother’s eye while ignoring the beam in our own.

In other words:

Before I examine your response, Lord, help me examine mine.

Whew!

Now somebody pass those Cheetos because we have some chewing to do! 😂

So, What Happened?

This past week at work, I received what I would describe as a very aggressive:

“NO! NO! NO!”

during a telephone conversation.

And let me tell you…

That wasn’t a soft no.

That wasn’t a “No, ma’am, I’m sorry.”

That wasn’t even a “No, unfortunately we can’t do that.”

It was:

NO! NO! NO!

😳

I immediately picked up on the tone behind it.

Later, while I was discussing the encounter with coworkers, another coworker offered a different perspective on the situation.

Well…

I had a point to make! 😂

What was my point, you ask?

Thank you for asking! 🤣

My concern was the spirit and tone behind the response.

Could the person have simply said it more kindly?

Maybe she was having a rough day.

Maybe something had happened before that telephone call.

Maybe she was frustrated.

I don’t know.

But here’s where my thinking began to shift:

What if the lesson wasn’t only about how she spoke to me?

What if God also wanted me to pay attention to how I responded to what was spoken to me?

Uh-oh.

REDO!

Because we never fully know what another person is carrying.

Someone may be grieving.

Someone may be overwhelmed.

Someone may be dealing with problems at home.

Someone may already be emotionally exhausted.

That’s why our words, our tone, and our approach matter.

One harsh response can escalate an already difficult moment.

But one kind response can change the entire atmosphere.

And right there in the middle of our discussion, one of my sweet coworkers offered me some Cheetos.

🤣🤣🤣

And you know what?

I took them!

The conversation changed.

The tension came down.

And now we have a blog!

God can use anything to teach us—even a bag of Cheetos. 😂

Grab Some Cheetos: Let’s Learn How to De-escalate

So while we’re munching, here are 10 practical ways to de-escalate a tense situation:

1. Stay calm. Keep your voice steady instead of matching someone else’s anger or frustration.

2. Listen before responding. Sometimes people need to know they have actually been heard.

3. Acknowledge the concern. You don’t have to agree with everything to say, “I understand what you’re saying.”

4. Lower your tone, not your standards. You can remain respectful while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

5. Stop trying to win the argument. Winning an argument and solving a problem are not always the same thing.

6. Ask questions. “Can you help me understand what happened?” can accomplish more than an accusation.

7. Check your body language. Facial expressions, pointing, eye-rolling, and aggressive gestures can speak louder than words.

8. Stay with the current issue. Don’t drag yesterday, last month, and 1997 into today’s disagreement! 😂

9. Look for a solution. Ask, “What can we do from here?”

10. Know when to disengage. Sometimes the wisest response is to stop the conversation, allow emotions to settle, and revisit the issue appropriately later.

Kindness vs. Meanness ❤️

Now let’s get to the heart of this blog.

What does God say about being kind?

God doesn’t call us to kindness only when people are kind to us.

He calls us to kindness because kindness should be growing inside of us.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…” — Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)

And Galatians 5:22–23 reminds us that kindness, gentleness, and self-control are evidence of the fruit of the Spirit.

That means sometimes the Holy Spirit will deal with our response before He ever deals with the other person’s behavior.

Ouch! 😳

Kindness doesn’t mean allowing people to mistreat you.

Kindness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t hurt.

And kindness doesn’t mean you cannot address inappropriate behavior.

It means we can address a wrong without becoming wrong in the process.

Now THAT will preach! ❤️

What Did the Cheetos Teach Me? 😂

A simple bag of Cheetos reminded me that sometimes a tense moment needs an interruption.

A pause.

A softer voice.

A different perspective.

A little grace.

And apparently…

a little cheese dust on your fingers! 🤣

Maybe the bigger lesson wasn’t just:

“Why did she speak to me like that?”

Maybe God was also asking:

“Lauretta, how are YOU going to respond?”

Because I cannot always control another person’s tone.

I cannot control whether somebody says:

“NO! NO! NO!”

But I can ask God to help me control what comes out of me next.

And sometimes that means admitting:

“Lord, I need to redo that response.”

❤️ Aha Moment

Kindness doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you are strong enough to let God govern your response.

You don’t have to match somebody else’s attitude.

You don’t have to return harshness for harshness.

And you don’t have to win every disagreement.

Sometimes the victory is simply recognizing:

“I could have handled that differently.”

That’s growth.

That’s maturity.

That’s the fruit of the Spirit at work.

So the next time a conversation starts going left…

Pause.

Listen.

Choose kindness.

Ask God to govern your response.

And if necessary…

Pass the Cheetos! 😂🧡

Written by Lauretta Scott

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Publishing with Purpose & Faith